god’s timing

The importance of trusting God’s timing is something I didn’t always understand. What God had for me and what I wanted for myself often didn’t align.

Everything I wanted came from impulse, ego, and living in survival mode. As an artistic creator, ideas have always come to me with ease. God, I thank You for that gift. The problem was that as soon as an idea entered my mind, I would execute it immediately. I never allowed God the time to cultivate what He had placed within me. The result was short-lived wins that never seemed to grow the way I wanted them to. I became mentally drained, exhausted, and often wanted to quit.

God’s timing wasn’t limited to my passions—it extended to my relationships as well.

I pride myself on being sexually disciplined, and I’m certainly not open to just any man. Yet I found myself choosing the same man in a different body over and over again. Every man who entered my life reflected the same pattern. They weren’t sent by God because I wasn’t supposed to be focused on a relationship at that time. I was supposed to be working on myself.

The men I chose were emotionally unavailable, constantly chasing money, unsure of who they were, and dependent on outside validation. Every single one of them had a hustler mentality. Had I waited on God’s timing, I may have found someone who was equally yoked.

Then came surrender.

Don’t get me wrong—there are no coincidences, only choices. I chose from a place of impulse, lack of faith, and impatience.

I began what I thought would be a one-month fast. Instead, it became a five-month journey.

During that season, God stripped everything away. I removed myself from a group of people I desperately wanted to remain connected to. I ended a relationship that I knew wasn’t going anywhere. He was comfortable, but he wasn’t emotionally available and possessed many of the same qualities I had encountered before.

It became just me and God.

And He slowed me down to a snail’s pace.

I’m a rabbit.

The discomfort began.

This level of obedience challenged everything within me. I cried many nights and asked God why, especially after two months of what felt like complete silence. I hadn’t had a creative thought in months, and my physical activity was limited. No gym. No distractions. Just God, me, and His Word.

Three months passed.

i remained patient

I surrendered.

I no longer felt the need to constantly create, push, or exhaust myself in the gym. Instead, I was beginning to fall in love with His Word—and with myself.

Then one morning around 3 a.m., an idea came to me.

I wept

Not because of the idea itself, but because I felt overwhelmed by God’s presence. For months, there had been silence. No inspiration. No creative downloads.

This time was different.

I took my time. I listened. I researched. I breathed.

I didn’t feel the need to execute immediately, nor did I feel pressured by time. The idea carried purpose. It flowed with ease. I didn’t have to force it.

All because I trusted God’s timing.

Through that season, I fell back in love with Christ and with myself.

God’s timing helps us rid ourselves of ego, pride, impulsiveness, and confusion. It clears our vision and aligns us with His purpose. It brings abundance where we were once settling for less.

thank you god

I trust Your timing.